— Lorelei Lee (@MissLoreleiLee)
I don’t think I’ve ever read an article with my eyes wider open.— Roxane Gay (@rgay)
— Anisse Gross (@anissegross)
With my wedding coming up, I went in search of smart marriage advice — something better than, “Don’t go to bed angry.” I got great responses — my favorite from historian Stephanie Coontz, who said, “Always look for the soft emotion that lies beneath the hard one." The advice kept pouring in even after I published my article, so I’m sharing one of my favorites here. This is from my Uncle John, who has been happily married for, like, a really long time:
Married life comes in chapters — and you cant read ahead. You can be sure that you will both change over time; and a happy marriage is falling in love over and over again with each person that your lover changes into along the way. It takes a lot of respect to let your spouse emerge as they will and not try to change them to fit your idea of what they should become. The really good marriages are those where there is a sort of co-evolution as you grow and change together with a lot of honest communication along the way. Marriage takes courage and laughter…especially laughter.
Are you a man who has shared a naked photo of an ex? I want to hear your story. Anonymity is A-OK. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Always look for the soft emotion that lies beneath the hard one … respond to the soft emotion — the fear, anxiety or embarrassment that is hiding behind the anger or accusation.
Your own winning style must begin with ideas in your head.
Pornographer Axel Braun has decided to only shoot with performers 21 and up:
If the law says you are not old enough to handle alcohol responsibly, then you are probably not ready to make a career decision that will have such strong repercussions on the rest of your life. After 23 years in the business I have come to strongly believe that an 18-year-old fresh out of high school has a completely different perspective on life than he or she will have three years later, and I just want to allow them enough time to make a more informed, mature decision.